Gabe's Story I grew up in a Christian family... My parents were not die hard hell fanatics, in fact, growing up I never really thought about Hell as a possibility for myself or my family. We believed that Jesus Christ was our savior and never really worried that our sin was too much for him. We were human, right? Well, we still did right by the world's standard, but we still had sin in us, who didn't after all? So, my family and myself were quite ok with Christ. Ironically, this is where I believe most Christian's today reside in their mind. They know enough about the Bible to believe they are saved, but neglected to look over the passages that seemingly theaten that salvation. As I grew up through my teenage years, I was introduced to a new world... Certain sins creeped up and grabbed a hold of me. The more I fought the sins, the worse I became in those sins... I found it far better to just "give up" because I could see the path I was going every time I attempted to stop them. After several years went by, I read some passages of scripture and had a talk with a pastor and introduced me to the warnings in scripture and the result of Hell if I failed to overcome my sin. This had me frantic, like a rat trapped in a cage... I couldn't help my sin, and now I am going to suffer eternally... The mere thought was so despressing it made me lose sight of my life. I did everything I could to stop sinning, I just couldn't... I prayed to God to help me, and nothing worked. So, I gave up again for a few years... I had a few years of relative peace until I finally realized that I am not getting any younger and deferring my sin just increased my chances that I am going to end up in Hell eternally... I was so scared that I was coerced yet again to follow Christ. Now - mind you, I wanted to be free from my sin very much but, but the concern of my final destiny mattered more. About the time I turned 23 I went through a nervous breakdown. This toll that the fear put on me had finally taken its toll. I couldn't function at work, I developed OCD in the form of wicked thoughts that kept coming into my mind - the more I tried to oppose the thoughts, the stronger they became! I was losing everything and I knew very shortly I would probably be put in some mental institution (willingly, I might add) if something didn't change. I did everything I could to earn favor with God. I felt guilty about everything in my life... I felt guilty about spending money on anything for myself, I felt guilty about enjoying life, especially when others needed to be saved from this fire... After about a year of this complete torture, I tried to latch on to Calvinism, because that was a way to ensure I was "saved". The problem with Calvinism is that it is circular reasoning and is merely a selfish belief. Sure, it is conforting to those who are deluded and selfish, but offers little beyond themselves. Never-the-less, I did adopt Calvisnism - for a while. At this point in my life I was sort of ok about my final destiny, but how to know if I am truly of the elect? I couldn't possibly know until I persevered until the end! Oh my, even Calvinism doesn't comfort much, but even so, what about my family? My mother and father were very good people, they believed in Christ, were charitable (in fact, more so than any other people I have met) but they still had sin in their lifes, certain sins they struggled with. I took Galations 5 to heart, and listed the sins of those who do not inherit the Kingdom of God. My parrents had some of those sins, I had some of those sins... In fact, I never met anyone that didn't have one of those on their list. Was the human race helpless? Was Jesus really here to help us? I felt Jesus was a sham... He offered so much hope in the scriptures with his words, but then seemingly shot down all that hope with a few other verses. Finally, my brother in law emailed me... I asked him what he was studying and he said "Well, I am trying to figure out if the Church Fathers believed Hell was eternal or not" and that was the spark that ignited my search for the Truth. My first search led to me an SDA Pastor. I had always believed the SDA to be some type of cult (because my grandmother was from it) never the less, they are view "ok" by evangelicals. So, this pastor was named "Doug Batchler". He basically brought me to the idea that Hell couldn't be eternal and that they had scripture to back it up. He also, in his video on his website said that "fear" is not a good motivater. I agreed with him, as fear did nothing for me except serve a frightful God like a kidnapped child serves their kidnapper creep of a person. I searched several other websites, some with some very strange beliefs, but after looking into it, I found that Hell was not eternal, at least, there was more scripture to prove it was not, than proved that it was. But, even though this was more merficul, it still saddened me. I didn't want to cease to exist... I love my family, I love my parrents. How cruel was God to give us communities, only to say good bye to them eternally? What is the point? Is this a GAME for God? Is God sick in his head? I had so much anger towards God and even as I type this, I can feel the anger I had towards him... But, as always the Lord leads us through in steps... I came upon tentmaker... When I first read an article and realized it was Universal Salvation, I closed it out and disregarded it. Surely, Universal Salvation is the most ridiculous thing that entered in my mind! It isn't that I hated the idea, it is just that the idea was plainly false. There is no possible way it could be true, so I exited the website as one does something that is useless. As time went on, I continued my searches and eventually came across tentmaker again. This time I just decided to read what it had to say... I was so broken and angry, then I guess I didn't care at that point and was open to another possibility. After reading the articles, I started to see it. I started to see what I had missed on these years. I resisted it at first, very strongly because I didn't want to be fooled... Remember, even though Hell was no longer believed to be Eternal, I still believed in Annihilation and that is something I wanted to avoid too! So, I was extremely hesitant and devoured every article on tentmaker, read every book I could on Universal Salvation and I couldn't believe how the scripture became so harmonous! Everything could be properly explained without butchering the text! Amazing! Just around this time, my first child was born. I remember how much I loved him, how much care I had for him, that no matter what, I would never hurt this child intentionally and that I would love him until my own undoing. I realized that is the same love that God has for us! Over the next year, I let it sink in until I no longer had any reservations. I am now open with this truth to everyone! I no longer serve God with fear and guilt, but with confidence that Christ can accomplish any work within me. God will free me from sin... Without the fear of going to hell, I can fight sin without having to look behind my back, or without the fear of slipping. I know that I am secure, and knowing that allows me to freely serve him with love for all he has done for me and for all of humanity. This is true love. My Story
seeing broken people make their way to the front of the church to be saved. My mother was the church clerk and my dad was the head deacon. We always Kept the evangelists at out house during revivals...good memories :) I remember watching Billy Graham on TV and feeling so emotionally drawn to do something... didn't know what, just knew I should do something. My friends felt the same way( age 9 or 10). We used to discuss getting saved. We knew from being in church that all we had to do was ask the Lord and He would save us. We probably did that many, many, times lol.... Obviously the main ingredient, faith, was lacking not to mention the fact that we wouldn't have known what the heck we were being saved from. We just knew that everybody that was anybody got saved. We got older and grew out of that phase. I was fourteen when I made my proverbial trip down the isle. My parents thought I should have "made a move" way before then. I could tell by the remarks that were made to the preacher or evangelist..in my presence, embarrassing the life out of me. It's a shame that religion hides the truth isn't it? I felt like I was a total embarrassment to them because I had not "made a move". Well, I decided it was time to get saved. So at the invitation one night of the summer revival, I took the first step and before you knew it I was crying and shaking the preacher's hand, saying, "I want to be saved." He said,"we've been waiting so long." We all had a crying, good time and I was "voted" on and approved to be a member of the church but walked away from that experience lost as a goose. But, I thought I was saved. I had done exactly everything everyone else did when they got saved. Naturally, I grew into my teen years being sucked right into the foolishness that a lot of teenagers get sucked into. I was faced with all the questions...drinking, smoking, wrong relationships, sex..., but, hey, I was saved, I couldn't go to hell. Little did I know that I was creating my own hell by breaking the laws that God laid down for my good, not just to keep me from having fun. So, here I was... living like the devil on Saturday night, playing the piano at church Sunday morning. Thank God for His mercy. He could have fried me on the spot! I was married at 19, had two children by 21. This is when the miraculous drawing process of the Holy Spirit started in my life. I was doing my daily chores around the house, one day in particular while loading the dishwaher, I noticed something different, almost like someone was in the room with me. There wasn't so I just continued with the dishwasher and other chores. This little "nagging" just hung on and would not quit. I went to bed one night and was trying for the life of me to figure out what was going on. The thought struck me, " could this be the conviction of the Holy Spirit?" I thought, "no, I am saved already." I lay there that night going over my "salvation experience" at church when I was fourteen. Then, it dawned on me, I never even talked to God that night! I completely left Him out of the whole ordeal." I realized that I had never been saved at all, that I simply went through the motions that I had seen everyone else go through. I was shocked. So, for about two weeks I rationalized and grappled with things. The scriptures that I had been hearing preached fervently from our pulpit, same church, different preacher, like.....no man building a tower does it without counting the cost... were all coming back to me. "Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God." And, a story our pastor, Brother Ralph Brand, would tell. It was about a hen that was hatching some eggs, Someone put a duck egg under her with her eggs. When the eggs hatched, naturally, the duck found some water and got in it while the mama hen watched in horror. He said it's as natural for a born again person to want the things of God as it is for a duck to go to water. I knew my heart was not after the things of God. I was also car pooling with a friend taking our children to pre school during this time in my life. This woman was always talking about God like she knew Him personally or something. She made the statement one day in the car, "I don't know what I would do without God in my life everyday." That really got my attention. I didn't think about Him at all. I knew she must have had something that I didn't. I am really thankful that she was in my life at that time. God used her to help draw me to Himself. Realizing the experience that I was having was not coming from myself and admitting my lost condition, I knew deep down that I wanted this God, who evidently wanted me. Even as a lost person I knew that if I was to come to the Lord for real, I wanted it to be for real! Not just some religious, mechanical, routine that I would go through three times a week and live like anybody else the rest of the time. (the leaven of the Pharisee starts early doesn't it?) So, the very next opportunity I had to go to church, I was there and couldn't wait for the invitation...too ingrained with religion to call on the Lord at home. When they gave the invitation I went to the preacher and told him that I had been a church member for 8 years but had never been saved and I wanted to be saved for real. This time I talked to the Lord and told Him that He said if I came to Him that He would in no wise cast me out. I confessed to him that I was a sinner and wanted to be saved. I called on the Lord and He heard my cry! My life has not been the same since. I can truly say, like that old song....The Longer I Serve Him, the Sweeter He Grows! I grew up being taught eternal torment. I questioned it as much as I thought I could and once felt like I had an answer from God about it. And, at that time in my understanding, it was fairly enlightening. I simply asked God, “if you are a God of love, why did you create most people to go to hell?” His reply to me was, ”I did the same thing you did. I created billions of people and you just happened to create three. “ It’s like He asked me, “did you know when you had your three children, for sure, that any of them would spend eternity with Me?” Well, according to my theology, my answer was no. So, I felt like I didn’t have much of a complaint anymore. It actually made me feel closer to God because it made me see Him in a light that I could understand…He desired a family……just like I did! That answer satisfied me for several years, but about 6 years ago, I became extremely grieved for lost people. I was more than just confused why God would come up with a plan like hell. I realized that I actually believed that most of humanity would be going to a literal, burning, hell, with no hope of getting out. This revelation came after the death of both of my parents, eight months apart and dealing with the fact that my oldest son battled drug addiction. Knowing the Bible like I knew it, I knew what it said about people who do certain things not inheriting the kingdom of God. And what the Bible said about a man's religion being vain if he could not control his tongue... Well, my daddy was a good as gold but his words could peel the paint off the wall if you caught him at the right time. So, what was I to think? Would my son die and go to hell because he was a drug addict? If he had the power in himself he would have gladly walked out of that role. Would my daddy hear the words of Jesus..."depart from me I never knew you" because he cussed like a sailor? There was no way I would be able to stay sane thinking that someone I love like I love them, would be suffering horrible pain and torture with no end in sight! These were very real fears of mine. I have to give credit where credit is due though. In the waiting room at the hospital, when my Dad was in ICU, I came out of his room and sat down. God knew my concern, He very sweetly assured me, "I love him more than you do." Having gone through my parents deaths and watching a movie called “The Perfect Storm,” I became obsessed with hell. On the "Do You Believe In Hell?" page there is a picture from the movie that shows the horrible looks on the fishermen's faces when they realize they are not getting out of the storm alive. At that point in the movie I started thinking about Jesus talking to his followers about His coming again. He said the times would be like they were in Noah's day. Basically, folks would just be living life as usual, not worrying about too much, when the judgment of God was about to be unleashed on them. Which meant, if what I believed was the truth, that most of humanity would go to hell forever. ( that was my understanding of eschatology at the time) Being totally consumed with that fact, evangelism became a priority to say the least. I made a fool out of myself on the elevator at a local hospital attempting to "be a light for Jesus" and keep people out of Hell. A nice, well to do, gentleman got on the elevator and said, "hello, how are you?" In all sincerity I replied, "I'm fine thank you and I am so glad I don't have to go to hell when I die!" From the look on his face I am sure he was thinking, "another nut." In my zeal I found a website that gave the numbers of evangelized people in the world. According to this site, from the six billion people of the earth, 31% were affiliated with the Christian religion. 21% of these were Roman Catholic (who did not believe in being born again, so that left them out). That left the other 10% that might possibly go to heaven, and this number even included Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons. It didn’t look good. I bought books and videos on intercessory prayer for family members that were lost and sunk myself into them. I tried praying detailed prayers for each one that I was concerned about, attempting to bring down the strongholds that kept them from the knowledge of God. Well, as I prayed for my family, I begin to consider all the people I was NOT praying for! I prayed not only for my kids but for their cousins and friends... I could have prayed constantly if it had been possible and still not prayed for everybody that needed to be saved. The job was just too big for me to do. It made me sick to think of anyone being burned forever with absolutely no hope of an end to it. I cried at Bible study, I cried at church, I cried at home…I was a mess. Then, thank God, I happened to read an article on “Beliefnet.com”, entitled, “Will Everyone Go to Heaven?” It was an interview with Bishop Carlton Pearson from Tulsa OK. He had started preaching the gospel of inclusion, better known as Universal Reconciliation. Can you imagine how I felt to see such an article? This was sweet music to my ears....eyes! I read the article and found out that Bishop Pearson was having a conference on "Contending For The Faith Once Delivered" in Tulsa in the near future. I went to that conference at Bishop Pearson’s church in Tulsa, OK. There, my husband and I met Dr. Harold Lovelace and found out that he lives only about 2 hours away. He has been so faithful to help and teach and lead us as we would have questions to arise coming from the eternal torment teaching. As a result of this soul searching journey, I am more in love with the Lord now, than ever, including all the people He created. I know now that Jesus was the propitiation not for our sins only but for the sins of the whole world. The first Adam was the problem(by God's own design) and the last Adam was the solution. And, this scenario was orchestrated and played out under the loving eye of our great, sovereign God before the foundation of the world. We have been set free from the law of sin and death. The wages of our sin was death and Christ tasted death for every man and conquered it by rising up from that death. We are free to love each other as Christ loved us, no racism, no prejudice, no holier than thou…. God’s judgments are more real to me now than ever before. They just happen to make sense now because I know they are designed to bring us all to the end of ourselves That is my testimony so far. I look forward to the rest... Byron's Story
Christianity loathing type person. How that led to what I am today makes no natural sense at all. It happened alone in a deserted room after losing the woman I loved and falling into a deep depression for over two years. At rock bottom for months on end, I finally ‘lost it’ one night, rolling around on the floor and spontaneously screaming out for help (to no one in particular) and basically wishing to die very badly. My spirit was crying out over and over and over "What's wrong with me? what's wrong with me?!!". Finally, out of the clear blue I heard this voice inside calmly say "You're starving... to death". A voice??? This was a first. I was absolutely stunned and thinking "wow, did I imagine that?!! What the heck is going on here?" A strange calm came over me. There was a love, a compassion in that voice and as I dragged myself up into bed and drifted off to sleep my memory echoed softly those words over and over again "You're starving... to death, you're starving... to death, You're starving... to death..... The next morning I started putting 1 and 2 together: 1. I was crying out 2. a voice answered ... so could it be like.... (gulp) maybe... God? Answering? Like a prayer or something? I began to tremble thinking “This is impossible”. I got up and decided to go see a friend whom I hadn't seen in months. Not seeing him was on purpose because he was a Jesus freak who would sometimes tell my friends and I that we needed to 'seek God' and 'know Christ' etc. I was a nice person, but inside it would anger me and I remember wishing that he would just shut the - bleep- up. But now I'm thinking maybe he could shed some light on what had happened. "You're starving... to death"? What in the world was that supposed to mean? It was driving me nuts! So I show up at his door early in the morning, knock, and he is very surprised to see me and says something like "Hey there stranger, what's going on?" All I said was "I think God might have spoken to me last night". That's ALL I said. He invited me in and I was ready to explain what I meant but before I could say another word, He told me to sit down and he'd be back in a minute, and he scurries off into his bedroom. Keep in mind, all I'd told him was "I think God might have spoken to me last night" and I mentioned nothing at all of the "starving to death" thing. After about ten minutes he comes out of his bedroom with an open bible, and while pointing down to a particular spot on the page he says "Read this". I looked down and read where he was pointing. It said: "I have food to eat that you don't know anything about". (John 4:32) Can you imagine what went through my head? How could he have known??? "Why did you show me that?" I demanded. He replied "I just went back and prayed and felt like you needed to read that verse." And so I start asking him "How did you know?" and he says "Know what?" I was speechless. The stunning truth became clear, it WAS God who had spoken - it had to be. There was no other possible explanation. All the sudden this love came washing over me like waves. I can't explain it - love, forgiveness, compassion. I had done nothing to cause/deserve this. I was crying, couldn't speak, and left back to the deserted room - but now I was in the presence of perfect love. The depression disappeared INSTANTLY, just vanished. I was flying inside - it was like a dream, a fairytale. That night I did have a dream. In the dream I could see underground, a side view, (mmm.. like remember in Jurassic Park - the illustration of the diggers going down into the cave to find the amber? Like that). I saw a man, whom I knew to be Jesus, buried, lying under the earth just below the surface in the darkness. All the sudden he started to glow and then broke upright through the ground and stood (floating) a few feet above the ground in the open air, now shimmering in white light. A voice spoke and said "This is you" and I replied "No it's not... that's Jesus" and I woke up. I pulled out a bible that my former lady friend had given me from under a pile of junk and started reading - it had opened to Romans. Again a shocking moment came when I got to 6:4 "just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life" and later in Colossians "having been buried with Him in baptism, you were also raised with Him through faith produced within you by God who raised Him from among the dead". All the sudden the "This is you" thing started making sense. For the next couple of weeks I was in the presence of Deity, really, it was like He was in the room with me. Intense Joy had replaced the sadness and emptiness. Physical food became optional as I devoured the scriptures for several weeks and soon saw the "big picture" ie: creation being made subject to vanity - but only for a season, all of creation groaning for the manifestation of the Sons of God, The ultimate restitution of all things etc. I was still in a daze though, why me? I had been basically lazy and self serving my whole life, and yet this all knowing, supernatural ‘person’ is treating me like I was the best thing there ever was. IT MADE NO SENSE AT ALL! I realized one thing for sure: God is sovereign. He planned all this and has great plans for all of His creation, to bring all out of darkness and into His marvelous light. Just as the first Adam chose death for all mankind, Jesus, the last Adam, has now chosen life for all mankind, to be manifested in due time.
I have been a Christian since the age of 15(I'm currently in my 40's). I couldn't help BUT believe in the doctrine of eternal torment because that was what I was taught as a child. It was in 2004 when I suffered a major injury that God made me sit still and He revealed to me His wonderful plan to reconcile the whole world unto Himself, and that no one will be burning in hell for eternity. This was very hard for me to accept at first, as my traditional foundation came tumbling down beneath me. But God rebuilt that foundation, not on the false doctrines and traditions of orthodox Christianity, but on Jesus Christ, the Saviour of the world, who will indeed save the world. I can appreciate why people fight this fact so much. It's so hard to surrender traditions(e.g. the pharisees). This revelation has cost me many friends that I once fellowshipped with, but Jesus did say that we would be hated of all men for His sake. I didn't think that hate would come from so-called! Christians. |
Many, O LORD my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered. Psalm 40:5 |
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